


Gentlemen, Place Your Bets

by bettysdryer



Category: Captain America (2011)
Genre: Angst and Humor, Crack, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-06
Updated: 2012-08-06
Packaged: 2017-11-11 13:18:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/478955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bettysdryer/pseuds/bettysdryer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I revoke the rights I just granted you. Whoever gets to Steve first wins the prize.”</p><p>“How drunk are you, exactly?”</p><p>“The prize being Steve's penis.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gentlemen, Place Your Bets

**Author's Note:**

> Just some silly thing I wrote on a whim.

“I admit it,” Peggy Carter told Howard Stark during one of their weekly drinking sessions in the bunker's bar. “I've fallen. I've fallen in love with Steve Rogers.” She tipped her drink into her mouth and wiped her lips, staring down at the floor. “Goddammit.”

Howard gave a long pause. “Me too,” he said quietly.

Peggy looked up at him sharply, but didn't say anything. 

“I know, I know,” Howard said. “You can't blame me, though. Have you _seen_ him?” 

The corner of her mouth twitched upwards, and she shook her head and took another swig of whiskey. “Never would've taken you for a nance, Stark.”

“I wouldn't say I'm a – wait, a what?”

“Nance. Nancy boy. A homosexual.”

“Well – yes, like I was saying. I'm not entirely – I enjoy the company of both men and women, I suppose is what I'm getting at.”

“Alright then.” 

“God, look at the two of us,” he continued, leaning back in his chair, arm draped across the back. “Couple of lovestruck idiots.”

“You're the one who's an idiot.”

“Oh yeah? I don't see you inventing flying cars, missy.”

“I'm sure if I gave it a go, I, too, could invent a flying car that doesn't work.”

“Touche.” He raised his glass before taking another drink. “You know what? I'll let you have him.”

“You'll let me have him,” she said, deadpan.

“Consider it a gift. I bequeath the sole rights to screw Captain America unto you, Peggy Carter.”

She laughed. “You cannot be serious.”

“I am! Go. Have some fun.” 

“No, I meant the ridiculous notion that _you_ are giving _me_ permission to sleep with Steve.”

“...I don't understand what you're getting at.”

She tittered and took a sip. “Never mind.”

“What, you think I don't have a shot?”

“No. No, I don't.”

Howard raised an eyebrow and placed his (now empty) glass on the table. “You're on.”

“Excuse me?”

“I revoke the rights I just granted you. Whoever gets to Steve first wins the prize.”

“How drunk are you, exactly?”

“The prize being Steve's penis.”

“You're _very_ drunk.”

“I'm _barely_ drunk. And you know what else? I'm going to win.”

“I highly doubt it.”

“Why?”

“Do I really need to answer that?”

“If you think it's because Steve isn't a poofter like myself, I'll have you know that that's never stopped me before.”

“We need to stop drinking together. You're picking up too many English idioms.”

Howard crossed his arms and smirked at her. “You're chicken.”

“Ha! Me, a chicken?” Peggy chewed on her lip smugly. “Okay. If you want to do this, fine.” She extended her hand across the table. “Let the games begin, Mr. Stark.”

He grinned and shook her hand vigorously. “Indeed, Agent Carter. And may the best man – ”

“Woman.”

“ – _man_ win.”

* * *

“So,” Howard said to Peggy several months later, a few days after Steve had crashed, “I guess neither of us won.”

“Won what?” She was staring at the palms of her hands.

“You know. The wager. The contest.”

Peggy looked up and stared at him blankly.

“Remember, in the bar, when – never mind.” He rubbed his neck uncomfortably. “I'm sending a search party down tomorrow. Do you want to join me?”

“No thank you,” she whispered, her voice raspy. 

They sat in silence for several minutes. Howard felt about to go crazy from the heaviness of the quiet in the room.

“You really don't remember the contest? The contest to... win his penis.” God, it sounded unforgivably silly now.

But to his surprise, Peggy started laughing – a deep, full laugh, that was making her shake from head to toe. Howard grinned uncertainly at her as he watched her convulse with hysterical laughter.

“Well, I'll tell you what,” Howard said as she started to slowly calm down. “This isn't over, sweetie. I'm gonna find him down there, and the game will continue. Okay?”

She smiled at him – a genuine smile, a warm smile. “Promise?”

“Promise.”

“I'm one step ahead of you, you know. I kissed him.”

“Damn. Well, he'll probably be so grateful that I've saved him that he'll throw me a quick one in the linen closet.”

“Yes, sweet, virginal Steve Rogers is definitely going to have sex for the first time in a closet. With another man.”

“You bet your bottom dollar he is.”

Peggy laughed again, and as her laugh died down, she said, “Thank you, Howard.”

He smiled. “Anytime, Peggy.”


End file.
